Words part III

some words seem to flow like the soft love of the flowers
some words stay with you forever
and some seem to grow an take a life of their own
when they want to be said
pregnant with meaning
soft with hate and rough with love
i speaak and say less than i mean
more than i know
i have wandered this lonely road
looked into her eyes
but the words never seem to come they have failed me
once again
once more
i sing my silent song
lay my mute words on life's bed
like lovers we play
but the words hang unspoken in the air
i can almost touch them i can almost see them
would they whisper their meaning
would they tell me that i can now see ?
forgive me words
forgive me all who i talked to
for they have never heard what i really meant to say
all this makes me cry
and as i think these words the tears stream down my sun touched face
i furrow my brow and then seem to smile some
bittersweet thought
the words for this too are lost in me
the words of my heart have lost their way

Gods of Communion

I am not so sad any more
the pain has passed over me

I think i thought this since i was four
u reminded me of that lost glee

the blue of our hearts creates a signature
a dried red name, burnt into out physche

the blue smoke wraps itself in a blur
like an invasion slowly as the algae

they eat inside my head, they scream for recognition ?
but reality is it any truer is it any more sincere ?

we all scream in unision, we cry together
are we heard any better for our mass lamentation
as the religious shred their skin in a frenzy of communion
we too do the same, we shred our souls
scaring all of the spindle legged foals

oh god of communion
ah lord of flies and the rings too
why can't anything be true

I think that I am so unorginal
so lame as i spew out the same
shit of all my generation
self pity and a defiance
a morbid wish to challenge the worlds
a fascination with life and a dance with death

hey mister
cant' you help me ?
can't some one come and take us all by the hand
daddy has been skewered on isms

I know you will come in the end
I will watch and wait... I have really tried
the suicide of the gods has imprisoned us all
the wait is so hard the time so slow as we speed through life

the rings don't always seem to fit
as I put my trust in you

amen

Leaves blew

child, girl i cry and beg the gods of the woods, of the oceans to hear..
my tears mingle with the dew of the women of my life
the cries of pain and pleasure
the blood of love and life
I am blinded by the clouds of thoughts of regret
and hope all wisping through our lives...
I reach and grip the nothingness of our loves and passions
the ether of our hurts and wounds.
I wish to tell you
I wish to laugh and leap for joy
please excuse me ladies and gentlemen
i i can not fit the mold because it was broken,
some other life, some other death...
someone abandoned me,
someone stole my heart's flower and all the butterflies died..
the leaves blew away that day the skies darkened.

Sweet lady

Sweet lady will you be there ?
when we hide in our dark, dark shadows
sweet lady will you see when
I touch the wide, wide sky

they all seem so sure
like a flower pure

I can't seem to grasp it all

cause it is so much wider than you and me
I'd give it all you know just
to look into your eyes and know what I see
instead of only a man stuck on this crust

Sweet lady will you be there ?
when we hide in our dark, dark shadows
sweet lady will you see when
I touch the wide, wide sky

yeah we're all looking for the cure
beggars all of us so, so poor

I just can't seem to stop this fall

cause life is hungry for you and me
abandoned from all loves' trust
and the dolphins leap in the sea


Sweet lady will you be there ?
when we hide in our dark, dark shadows
sweet lady will you see when
I touch the wide, wide sky

Sweet lady will you be there ?

Close your eyes

close your eyes
for the fear of the night will only subside
close your soul to the yearnings or you will fly
close your eyes to all the things
that life brings
the blue sky morning
the rays of sun touch our lives
the sun warms us slowly
but we have sought other suns and other paths
the visions behind our eyes
the thoughts so grand
losing all our secrets
like the farmer sowing his seed
maybe our dreams too will sprout and give life
maybe we'll open our eyes and see that our fears are our hopes
then we will stand renewed
uncovered beneath the hands of God

Little Girl

Don't worry
because it takes some time little girl
every little thing will be alright
some poet said that
but we know that the world is not so bad
cry in my arms
but never fear that the feys will see
that the trees will stand forever
and that the moon of your stars will rise

don't worry little girl
everything will be just fine
the world will turn and our time will come

hold to your dreams
hold to your loves

close your eyes
close those khol eyes
little girl hold your fist closed
that peeble will sing
of your love and dreams

close your eyes little girl and see
I am there everything will be ok

I am falling into the sea the waves are dancing our dance
the dolphins are singing the whale song
close your eyes little girl and see that I swim in your wake
see with your soul that the dolphins are playing with your curls
little girl
the feys are so happy

I will hold you, as you awake the dreams will recede
the touch of my strong arms will go

but don't worry little girl because I will always be in your dreams
everything will be ok


Love Papa

The Calling

the calling is upon all our kind
we see because we open our hearts
even then we are sort of half blind
to see all our lost and scattered parts

come to my arms cause we will drink
till we are sober and then fly
not to escape but to open our minds
to understand the infinite
to lose the soul of our vanity
to break these chains
an' loose all our pains

hear the eternal calling in your mind
you'll see if we touch softly our hearts
child, then you can see why we are blind
help connect again all these sad parts

come to my warm arms and stand at the brink
then hold my hand and look at the sky
to capture the world with our minds
to grasp together the vast night
and to hold our sanity
and cast away the chains
an loose all our pains

the calling awoke in me some kind
of feeling that only just now starts
to work its way through my confused mind
come, now listen to our beating hearts

yeah come cause all we can think
is that we one day we'll wing and fly
across the sky with our open minds
into the bright white light
losing all worries of vantity and sanity
and free from all the chains
and leaving all our pains

The darkeness is so soft

It holds me surround
As I stand lost on loves mound
I seek what is lost and find
What is unfree
The leaves fall ever so softly
Can you tell me how does it feel ?
To understand that we have touched the god
Have sought the ether
And we’re thrown apart from there on
Can I cry once
Can I bleed the tears of all mankind
But really I can’t say I am sad it is just an albi
So stand and feel
To fall and come there
Where we have our souls bound
As if sky was open
But the clouds are low today
The words escape my mind
Seeping like lost birds
Drifting and wet
In the grayness of our scape
Our soulscape and I hold to all the thoughts
Since I spoke a new language
Since I danced in front of her
I thought then, lost you when
I couldn’t make you say…
Make you open your heart
I lost you then
Some say
I should ask you then
How does it feel ? when
You stand alone ?

Can you but see ?
What this was to me

Can you but hear ?
What is so clear

I smile sadly, sweetly..
I would really mind
If they saw what I lost… if they find
…what I couldn’t

In the lands of my mind

The screams of the gulls
Thinking forever that we are
Seeing deeper than we can jump
On the cliff of our life
Talking of sounds and colors

In the lands of my mind

The countries of violence
We make war
Or at times with greatness soar
But the sky is clouded and doesn’t know
What we are here for

In the valleys and glens of my mind

In the thanks giving of my people
Their singing and dancing
Has awoken some look ago thought
Has shaken our hands tracing
Across skin so tender

In the lands of my mind

The flowers speak words of love
The trees sway to our rhythm
The streams flow upwards
And the breeze catches our thoughts
Like summer flowers

Yes in the great dark and beautiful lands
That lie inside of my mind
At times I stand here so unkind
Looking with eyes of fire
With the pupils of desire
I will free the lands
Even from my own twisted mind
And then the wild birds will have dined
And I will walk along the mountain path
Seeking freedom from cold
Freedom from me, too
And they will never see but one will understand
One will take my soul
And see that we are whole
That we have lost all
But we are forever in the wake of our father
The wake of our living
The wedding of our dead
Understanding that we can never
Feel the same
Never wake from our dream thoughts
Or even sleep with our lands

Thus in the land of mind
The sun has again signed

Tell me lady

Tell me lady..why. I have lost my soul many a time.. and yet I
stand ?
I have stood at the precipice and yet I live to run again..
I dropped into the blackness of despair only to see the dawn
I wonder if it is the star’s luck or.. if it is chronic folly
To stand so close to the abyss and to be yet free
At times I philosophize as to what is and what isn’t as to why
and how
Other days I just live for the day and think not
I haven’t decided which is best.. maybe when I figure it out I
won’t need to know.
It is funny when we should know something we don’t and
When we know it is no more relevant… it is almost as if the
weavers of our fate..
the gods, the stars or the supreme power has some sense of
twisted humor..
Our fears are naught, our hopes are illusions.
But I can’t despair because then I live and breath and love,
hate and cry
That I guess makes all the rest sort of irrelevant
Lady am I confusing you…? I lay my head on your breast and talk
no more

Words part II

the streams echo in my soul
the heart's of the trees toll
grapple as i may i find that the words have weighed me down
the water of this stream has held me before
stuck as it were in a moment of reflection
when we die what happens asks she
the ground rolls and we feel
the wind blows through her hair and i sigh
this moment will it never end ?
set me free from the earths maw
set us free from the words of sages and prophets
the question hangs in the air
the words echo through the valleys of my mind
she wonders at my silence
why
why don't they move ?
never, ever die
her strength is her belief, though tragic it is beautiful
i hope and pray that she will know the answers one day
know the answers, hear the words, so that she will be free
so unlike me
so like me
the words gutter through my viens
i seek and find
i lose and cry
she looks with wonder as i give her the words given to me
she accepts and holds on to the hope of life, to the stream of words
I cast her into the air and she floats free
i wish to hold her, wish to protect her
but the words flow and blow and she catches the current and soars
oh my girl, my blood
fly free on my words, on the words of the universe
fly free and taste

MUD

They talk of superman and the president
but i stand here and hold the world in my hands
as the blood flows from my veins
i close my eyes
and the birds wing in fright
the trees sing a silent song
the rocks grind their bodies

sing to me as I bleed
life has gone to seed
the fucking vultures feed

I am stuck here... in an instant of time, in a moment of agony
This is how we walk the paving stones of woodstock
you remember little boy..? you smell that old smell

the blood has all bled
all the saints fled
What was really said ?

I have been wrong. I have misunderstood
but i think that the heros, the gods even have never seen this This is how we remember the spirits of that valley

And I lie myself on her bed
all the lies left unsaid
because the birds are all dead

Isn't it sad ? that we are stuck in this place
we are really all lost and confused, we never think to look up
the wings left unused as we think of love and suicide

I sing this song blood red
as all the mores are shed
and put a gun to our head

crying, I laugh... how absurd, to think that anyone cares
how cruel to promise a little girl the world and snatch it away
the trees murmur that we are just a song in the dreams of the gods

wake up ! gods of blood
we are your mud
winter's unopen bud

Words part I


words of hate and love, despair and bliss float against this void
I hold the fire to my soul,
the force of the ages flows in my veins
I seek and find, lose and faith
I grasp the wind and fly with the storm...
the trees float by under me as I soar..
the hemlocks pray to see me again and I cry for this land..
the rocks seek to hold me down
but I am lighter than the air, caught so tight yet free..
I know that my story was oft told
but I love you from this moment on to all etertenity
just for a moment this land this soil and feys fly
and hawks hunt and butterflies swirl
and i wonder if anything is real.
are we just a dream of a dream of a mystical creature ?
I drift, I swim and though I have a destination
I can't seem to remember where I wished to go.
Friends and family say that I am going there with determination.
Mayhaps the valley will remind me of where it is or what.
Wither I go I sow the seed of the storm that brought me to being.
Wither i place my feet sprouting desires curl
and try to root me to the earth.
Our mother earth that has spawned the sublime and the unspeakably horrid.
Our flaked stratified memories lie with and I seek to forget.
But I remember.
I remember the words
For they are the vectors of our destiny, they are power.
I remember the words.

Children of the Stars

we are the children of the stars the scatterlings of god
lost and found
sought and bound
the trees have held us but we took them and wept
we struggle with our wings unfurled our eyes scabbed
we stumble and love
the fields of barley glisten gold

fathers and mothers cling to our leaves of life
as we float through
we are the children of the stars
scattered through this world
lost and confused
seeking to be bound
waiting to be found

we are the forsaken, the lost children of the stars
scatterlings and spores of god
our eyes seek
but we are weak
as we fly over the branches
wings stretched to ever
souls free and held

we are the children, the spawn
the stars scattered us across the world
we have been bound
we have been found
lets us reach the love of our hearts
soaring, reaching for the stars
wings holding to eternity
the lands, the valleys calling

for we are the children of the stars

I am a father and though I laugh that I have lost everything I know that the truth lies in the lay of the land. The land of my mind is crowded with a rippling as in the hand of a very old women. The hills make seeing far difficult. The dreams I have are my projection of what I will find beyond those rises. Yet I stand and yet I smile. Tears too drip down my face, tears of bitter tastes, tears of wonder and awe, tears of companionship and tears of solitude. I lost the scent of my pet friend. I lost the touch of my child in her mother's belly.

I really am getting lost so let me tell you what this blog will offer. Poetry... I guess it is a custom in my family to write. I am trying to write a book.. so as I try and discipline myself I will post what I have done. I will also tell you (and if you don't really want to know.... well it makes me feel good to tell the story...) about my life. I will also publish the book of a friend of mine on a paralel blog (it is an amazing story). I will also provide links to various sites about poetry. And finally I will publish my father's poetry which is equaly amazing.

Inshallah of course.